Soggy Shoes and Shaky Faith

This morning I am sitting alone in front of a brightly lit Christmas tree reflecting on the past 5 years. On Christmas Day five years ago, Mike was only a few months into his chemo treatments and I was struggling with what the future might hold. The day after Christmas four years ago, Ian’s battle with addiction and mental illness began. That struggle would cloud the following holiday season. Last year, we celebrated Christmas as a physically healthy but emotionally drained family. This year, we seem more like “us”. Laughter filled the house last night as we began our Christmas traditions and, for the first time in a long time, there was nothing “weighing us down.”

In a few hours, my family – my entire family – will celebrate Christmas. We will open presents, watch movies, and enjoy a huge meal together. Like so many people around the world, we will enjoy the warmth and love of this day. Our celebration, however, will be filled with the recognition that it was made possible by the very birth that we are celebrating. Jesus. He is the reason we are here and we are whole. He is the reason for the hope that sustained us over these past 5 years and that will continue to carry us through the years to come.

Wishing you a blessed Christmas.

^{Isaiah 9:6} For unto us a child is born,
Unto us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Mike had a brain scan on April 27 and it revealed No Evidence of Disease. The doctors continue to be amazed at his response to treatment. We continue to thank and praise the Lord for His healing touch!

One year ago today, Mike’s post-radiation scan revealed No Evidence of Disease! A few weeks later, we would discover that he had a malignant tumor in his brain. This week his most recent scan and brain MRI reveal he has No Evidence of Disease anywhere! God is so good!

We got the results of the post-radiation scan of Mike’s brain. The smallest 2 spots are gone! The largest one has shrunk by 50%! The neurosurgeon called them amazing results and said the next scan will be in 3 months. The tumor will probably continue to shrink but, as long as it doesn’t grow, they are not worried.

We are so thankful that Mike had had zero side effects and that the results are so good. Again we have been reminded that God is with us and He still performs miracles.

“I will praise the Lord at all times. I will constantly speak His praises. I will boast only in the Lord; let all who are helpless take heart. Come let us tell of the Lord’s greatness; let us exalt His name together” Ps. 34:1-3

It’s hard to believe it’s been a month since Mike had the radiation treatment on the spots that were found on his brain! He has been doing so well – no side effects. Praise the Lord!

Mike has an MRI to recheck those spots tomorrow, July 13, afternoon. We will get the results Wednesday morning. We are praying for No Evidence of Disease. God has done that once and we believe He will do it again!

I will post an update on Wednesday. Thank you for your continued prayers. We appreciate it!

We are home and Mike is doing well. It’s actually amazing to think he had radiation to 3 spots on his brain this morning and he’s now outside on the deck talking with the kids!

In the fashion we have come to expect from the Med Center, Mike’s doctors and nurses were amazing. I so appreciate their “We’ve got it” attitude. It is a waiting game now. Mike will have a scan in a month. We have been told to expect that scan to look the same or even worse due to swelling. But, by now you know me…. 🙂 I am praying we will already see that our God has once again taken care of it and there will be No Evidence of Disease.

This little “wrinkle” has reminded me that God is worthy of praise no matter our circumstance and that He is with us always. I see His fingerprints in how quickly this issue was addressed. I see His fingerprints in the fact that these tumors were found before they had done major damage. I see His fingerprints in the way Mike has responded to treatment. And, so even in the midst of this, I give “All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.” (2 Corinthians 1:3)

We are back at the Med Center for Mike’s treatment. They did another MRI which showed the smaller tumor being even smaller and the other 2 being the same. They are working on the planning— which means taking measurements and programming the machine. We don’t know when the treatment will start, but have been told treatment itself will last an hour to an hour and a half.
Mike is in a twilight sedation. As he has been through it all, he is in good spirits. In fact, he wanted selfies with the head gear on!
Please pray that God will guide the planning process and the treatment. Also please pray for zero side effects.

I imagined I would return to writing this blog in order to share with you what we learned about faith and prayer during our cancer journey. But, we have experienced an unexpected “wrinkle”. Three weeks ago Mike injured his neck doing some yard work. The pain increasingly go worse and started causing headaches. The family doctor did an x-ray, which revealed degenerative disc disease. The oncologist did an MRI on Tuesday which revealed 3 small tumors in Mike’s brain.

Our oncologist is amazing and got Mike in to see a neurosurgeon and radiologist today. From the MRI, the neurosurgeon call tell that one of the tumors is benign and they are assuming the other two are cancerous. The plan is to do a procedure called Gamma Knife on Tuesday. Gamma Knife is a one dose targeted radiation therapy. It will take up to 6 months to know the result because of the swelling the radiation causes.

The biggest juggle will be with the immunotherapy treatments Mike just started and the steroids he will need to take to manage the swelling. If the need for the steroids becomes too great, immunotherapy will need to be stopped.

Two years ago, when we got the initial diagnosis, I was angry and full of questions. This time, I had some initial shock and a level of disappointment. But, I didn’t stay there for long. I am learning that while fear may be an instant reaction, we do not have to entertain it and allow it to develop into worry. So much of the battle is in our minds. We choose what thoughts we dwell on and allow to take root. Today I am choosing Psalm 112:7, “They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the Lord to care for them.” And Philippians 4:7, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank Him for all He has done.”

Please join us in prayer that God will continue His work and will continue to bless Mike with zero side effects and zero cancer cells.

It’s hard to believe that Mike finished radiation on December 24 and that our life has been pretty “cancer-free” since that time. There have been no treatments and very few doctor’s appointments. Mike’s hair and nails have continued to grow back, his energy level has been steadily increasing, and life has seemed a little more “normal”.

On Monday, Mike had his post-radiation scan and received the results within hours. In fact, we heard the results from the oncologist’s nurse practitioner, the oncologist, and the radiologist’s nurse practitioner. So three different times we sat and listened to the words “THERE IS NO EVIDENCE OF METASTATIC DISEASE!”

Oh what sweet and joyful words! There are no tumors — not in his esophagus, not in his lymph nodes, not in his liver. There is No Evidence of the Disease anywhere! These words have rattled around in our brains and in our hearts over the past two days as the reality of the situation has taken hold: we have heard the words we prayed and believed for-No Evidence of Disease. God has moved and the cancer that threatened to take Mike’s life is gone. Should there be any doubt that this is from the hand of God – one of the nurses confirmed the magnitude of this miracle when she shared with Mike that in 27 years of doing this job, she has never seen someone respond like Mike and told him he must have a guardian angel. Thank-You, Jesus!

As Mike said yesterday, there is a big difference between believing you are healed and knowing that you are. When we started this journey, I shared how my faith was shaken by this diagnosis and how I was struggling with the understanding that true faith recognizes that things do not always go the way we desire in life. Sitting and writing to you almost 21 months later, there are so many lessons that have been learned. There are so many more things I want to share with those of you who love Jesus, those of who wondering about Him, and those of you who don’t believe at all. That’s my plan for the blog over the next several months. But for now, I want to thank you for prayers, for your support, and for your love. I invite you to celebrate with us today. You have played a part in this miracle and we are so thankful for you.

Finally, I want end this post by giving all the glory and honor to our loving Father who heard my prayers, reached down from Heaven, and granted me the desires of my heart (Ps. 18:6, Ps. 21:1-2). I stand in awe of His greatness!

“But in my distress, I cried out to the LORD; yes, I prayed to my God for help. He heard me from His sanctuary; my cry to Him reached His ears” (Ps. 18:6). “I waited patiently for the LORD to help me, and He turned to me and heard my cry. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.” (Ps. 40: 2-3). “I prayed to the LORD and He answered me” (Ps. 34: 4). “For this, O LORD, I will praise You among the nations; I will sing praises to Your name” (Ps. 18:49). “I will sing to the LORD, for He has triumphed gloriously!” (Ex. 15:1).

It’s been so long since I’ve given an update on Mike. I apologize for that. Christmas Eve at 6:30 am Mike will have his LAST radiation treatment! It’s so amazing to type that!

As was the case with chemo, Mike tolerated radiation very well. The fatigue is now catching up with him and we’ve been told the first few weeks after radiation can be rough. The next scan will not happen for a month or so. The inflammation caused by the radiation will need to heal before the doctors will be able to see anything. We continue to pray and believe that a healing has occurred.

If you think of it and are connected to Mike in anyway (text, Facebook, etc) please give a shout out to him tomorrow. Because of COVID, the kids and I can’t go with him to watch him ring the bell (a sign of completing cancer treatments) and I don’t want him to celebrate this milestone alone. And please send a shout of thanks to God! He has been our comfort and our strength!

Words cannot adequately express how much your support means to us all. We pray that you will have a wonderful Christmas!