Soggy Shoes and Shaky Faith

What a day! Today we met with the radiologist to plan Mike’s upcoming treatment. I was actually glad for my mask so the doctor couldn’t see the big smile on my face. I mean — who smiles when they go to talk about radiation treatment?

The truth is, I’ve been smiling for days. I actually feel a little “lighter”. A year ago, we were in the beginning of this journey. I remember wondering if Mike would still be here for Thanksgiving and Christmas 2020. I worried about becoming a widow. How would I keep the house going? What about the kids? I worried about Mike and the discomfort chemo was causing and the emotions he was dealing with. Don’t get me wrong – I had faith. Shaky at times but still there. If we’re honest though, faith means accepting that things don’t always go “our way”. There is pain and loss in the Christian faith. We were never promised there wouldn’t be. I felt God’s presence enabling us to keep going. The support of friends and loved ones bolstered us and helped us through so many days that felt heavy.

Fast forward to today, the radiation doctor again talked about how well Mike has been doing. He shared with us the current ideas about treatment for stage 4 cancers and the success he had fighting with our insurance company to cover this treatment. We also discovered that he and Mike share a passion for grilling and smoking meats and that, yes indeed, he is an Ohio State fan. 🙂 The conversation felt comfortable and his approach is full of optimism. And, I was reminded, that even in the little things God is faithful. We need amazing doctors to take care of Mike. God has blessed us with those and has also blessed us with doctors to whom we can relate. Which, quite honestly, makes trusting them easier and keeps our spirits lifted. “Praise the Lord, for He has shown me the wonders of His unfailing love.” (Psalms 31:21)

Mike will return on November 13 for a run-through and the official treatments are slated to begin November 16. The oncologist needs to sign off on the plan in order for it all to be final. We are still praying and believing for zero cancer cells.

Today is Mike’s last day of chemo! Praise the Lord!

November 3rd is a CT scan with radiology and November 16 is the target start date.

We are praying that these last few doses of chemo have destroyed even more of the cancer.

Our meeting with the radiologist yesterday was amazing! Mike will begin radiation in November. The radiation doctor said he is moving forward because Mike has beaten the odds. He has tolerated treatment well and the cancer is only in his esophagus now. In fact the doctor commented that Mike doesn’t look like he’s been through 14+ months of chemo. His hair is growing back, his color is good, and his weight is up.

Mike will complete 2 more rounds of chemo and have a week to recover. Then he will have 5 treatments a week for 5 1/2 weeks for a total of 28 treatments. We were warned that radiation can get difficult. But, God has been so faithful in helping Mike with all this – so we trust He will continue to keep Mike in His hands.

We will pass along the details as we get them. Thank you for praying with us and supporting us on this journey. We are so thankful for you.

Mike met with the oncologist yesterday before his chemo treatment. The oncologist has referred Mike to a new radiation doc and we have a FaceTime meeting with him today (Tuesday, Sept. 29). Please join us in prayer that this appointment will go well.

Today Mike had his CT scan and follow up meeting with his oncologist. I am so thankful for FaceTime – because it allowed me to be a part of the meeting. And, this is one oncology meeting I am glad not to have missed.

Mike’s CT scan from today was compared to his CT scan from Aug. 19, 2019 (back when this all started). The enlarged lymph node under his left arm is no longer showing up. There is still cancer in esophagus but it is greatly reduced. The oncologist’s exact words were, “You’ve had an extraordinary response to treatment.”

Since Mike is responding so well – and is tolerating the treatment so well – it was decided that he will have 4 more chemo treatments. (The first of which was today.) The goal is to kill as much of what’s left as possible. Then, he will have a new scan and head to a radiation doc to discuss radiating the spots that were cancerous in order to destroy anything that could be remaining. Hallelujah!!!

I wish I could find the words to express just how I feel in this moment. I am humbled and grateful that Mike is being healed. One moment, I want to shout to the Heavens – and the next, I want to fall on my knees and cry. Most of all I want the world to know what God has done and is doing for us.

“I will praise You, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all the marvelous things You have done.” (Psalm 9:1)

Please join us in thanking and praising God for the wonderful news we received today!

I am so sorry for how long it’s been since I’ve updated you on Mike’s status. Anyone else fall into a “quarantine funk”? Lol!
Mike received chemo every two weeks throughout the summer months. He tolerated it very well. In fact, the neighbor commented to me that she can’t get over how good Mike looks. His weight is back to normal and his energy is up. It’s amazing when you consider the severity of his diagnosis. Thank you, Jesus!
The oncologist has decided to do a CT scan focusing on Mike’s chest instead of a PET scan. I was not present for that conversation so I am not exactly sure why. I do know the oncologist is pleased with Mike’s response and can no longer feel the lymph nodes in Mike’s armpits.

Mike will have his scan at 7:15am on Sept. 14 and will meet with the oncologist at 9:30am for the results. I am still not allowed to go with him; so, they will do a conference call to let me hear the results as well. We are praying to hear the words “No Evidence of Disease”.

Please join us in thanking God for how well Mike is doing and in asking for Mike’s healing.

Hi Everyone! For sometime now, Bonnie has wanted me to post on the blog. I’ve stayed away from this because I wanted this blog to be an opportunity for her to unload and express her feelings about my diagnosis. Also, an opportunity for her to share her faith and show just how amazing she is. I’ve finally broken down and decided to share something from my perspective. Thank you for all of your prayers throughout this journey. — Mike

Verse of the Day Thoughts
“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its
own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”
Matthew 6:34

I’m always amazed at how a Bible verse can come to life in different ways no matter how many times I have read it. Depending on my circumstances at the time, it can take on a completely new meaning- leading to different, eye opening revelations about God’s amazing love and wisdom. It’s like I’m watching a movie in 3D for the first time, I can see and understand
what’s happening on the screen while so much more is happening all around me, coming alive and making the experience so much, well- more, bigger. Let me explain.

In the 80’s, 3D movies at the theaters was a growing fad. Imagine watching a movie and seeing things fly out of the screen right at you. While it was exciting to imagine, it wasn’t easy to enjoy this new experience. First, you had to get your hands on the technologically advanced 3D glasses. They were flimsy cardboard cut-outs with blue film over one lens, red film over the other,
AND you could only get them at participating 7-11 convenience stores. That’s right, I said 7-11. Not at the actual movie theater, handed to you along with the movie ticket.

I remember my dad and I spending hours running from one 7-11 to the next, trying to find just one store that had some left. Once we found them it felt like we stumbled on some priceless lost treasure, and we were now part of the chosen few who were about to have an experience like no other. Tires whizzing by our heads during heart pounding car chases, or bullets narrowly
missing us as we found ourselves in the middle of a gunfight, and not to forget the pinnacle of any 3D movie experience ever… screaming at the top of our lungs as Jaws jumped out of the screen RIGHT TOWARDS US, (never feeling safe in the water again)!!!

Even though I had seen some of these movies before, watching it through those cheap 7-11 glasses gave me a new experience that took what was familiar and brought it to life- giving it new meaning, and eye opening revelations. That’s what reading the Bible can be like, (no 3D glasses necessary).

A new way I am experiencing the Bible is writing down my thoughts on the YouVersion Bible app verse of the day each morning. (A tremendous app, if you don’t have it I highly recommend it). It’s a simple idea that I believe will have a huge impact on my personal growth and relationship with God. Take the verse on August 12 for instance… Matthew 6:34.

For as long as I can remember when I read this verse, I would hear God telling me not to “pile on” the worries in my life. Thinking ahead will only add more stress, making things worse leading to frustration and feelings of being overwhelmed and eventually, leading me to throw my arms up in the air giving up. This is great wisdom, but is that all God is telling me? Today what I hear Him saying is this… that there will always be something to worry about
in this life, like being furloughed and wondering how long the money will last, or having a son or daughter who is struggling and hoping they find a way through, or receiving a phone call from a doctor who gives a diagnosis that instantly brings the world crashing down. God knows that I will always worry about things, but He also understands why I worry. I worry because of the
unknown, because I don’t have all the answers. To me there is nothing worse, nothing more frustrating than being in a situation and not knowing how to get through it, not having the answers. But guess what, He does, and what God is telling me is that each day I need to go to Him for the answers. Each day I need to put my trust in Him to help me through my worries. My dependence on God shouldn’t be circumstantial- only when things get really bad. My dependence
on God should be daily- no matter what. God is telling me that I’m not alone, that He understands me and will be with me every step of every day.

Where my knowledge and understanding end- God’s is just beginning. When my strength and energy run out- God’s is just starting. When I can’t move forward anymore- He picks me up and carries me the rest of the way.

“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”
Matthew 6:34

Early in Mike’s journey we discovered a website called Smart Patients. On this site, patients and/or their families share their journeys with various illnesses. I put Mike’s info on the esophageal cancer board and have followed several patients. This past week, 2 of those men, both in Mike’s age range and both diagnosed after Mike, passed away. They had both received the same treatment Mike has and both failed to respond. I have not been able to shake their stories. Two families are mourning right now while my husband is literally cleaning out our oven!

So many times this year, I have asked you to pray with us. Today I am asking you to join me in thanking God for the work He is doing. Mike’s story is not typical and that is only because of God’s mercy and His healing hands. For that, I am humbled and thankful and hopeful.

“Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good! His faithful love endures forever” (1 Chronicles 16:34). “Praise Him for His mighty works; praise His unequaled greatness!” (Psalms 150:2)

I am sorry I am so late posting this update. Cancer is a 2 steps forward, 3 steps back kind of illness. It seems that every time we get a good report, it is followed by a bad one. I am thankful for God’s presence because without it the emotional roller coaster of cancer would be unbearable.

Mike had a follow up appointment with the radiation oncologist 2 weeks ago. Even though, the results of Mike’s PET scan were so good, she refused to offer him radiation. She stated that she would only perform radiation if Mike has trouble swallowing because she views her role as palliative care. Her reasoning is that Stage 4 cancer almost always come back. It was quite a different report than the oncologist has given us. And, for a few moments, a let down.

Mike and I decided that we would tell his oncologist that we wanted a second opinion. We do not want any doctors on the team who are going to approach him as the “walking dying” or who are going to prematurely close avenues of treatment based on what they think the future will hold and not on what the test results show. Mike is not responding like a typical esophageal cancer patient and we want to make sure he is not approached like one.

When Mike went to see the oncologist to discuss next steps, we were reminded what a blessing our oncologist is. He agreed that a second opinion is warranted; but, before pursuing that opinion, he suggested another round of chemo that would present Mike’s body with 3 different medications. Two of them are in families of drugs that Mike has had and has shown response to. One of them is a new drug. The thought is that the new spot indicates that the some of the cancer has mutated and this new chemo should attack it while the other stuff should continue to work on the spots that have shown continual improvement. The oncologist reminded us that he’s not giving up – that he believes Mike is doing incredibly well – and that he will continue to be aggressive in his treatment of this cancer. We are so thankful for him!

So, Mike began the new regimen this week. Every two weeks, he will have an infusion at the Med Center and will come home hooked up to a device that will continue to deliver chemo to him for 48 hours. A nurse will come and unhook him and check on how he’s doing. This will continue into July when a new PET scan will be done. In fact, his last chemo is scheduled just a few days after the 1 year mark of his diagnosis.

Mike’s spirits continue to be up. I have not seen him shaken very much at all in this journey. His faith is strong — and so is his humor. (Some days I’m not sure if that’s a good thing…LOL!) His big hope now is that his hair will grow back.

If you are able, please continue to pray with us. We are praying and believing for healing — no cancer cells — no tumors.

We got a call that Mike will have his meeting with the radiation via an app tomorrow morning. He will have an endoscopy to look at his esophagus and biopsy parts of it on Friday morning.